sephiroth, “tol alien boy”, SOLDIER first class. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
supersoldier) wrote2020-02-01 01:17 am
supersoldier) wrote2020-02-01 01:17 am
( aefenglom inbox. )
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no subject
That’s to be expected. I told you about my preference to sleep in high places, and that being planted to the ground is less and less appealing by the day.
[The changes were subtle, but steady. Psychological more than physical. Which was more worrying, in the end?]
It makes sense that a cat would avoid a wolf, and a wolf would see a cat as—
[“Princess” hisses again, low and lengthy.]
—irritating prey.
[Nothing to be done, other than to make certain that he’s the one holding this angry animal the entire time. Sephiroth isn’t one for pets, but it’s still a task he can manage without complaint.]
I’m ready. Remove it.
no subject
I figured that was some kind of weird joke. At the time.
[Sephiroth's.... not exactly the best with them, so he figured it was either that or some flippant comment. The block is shifted easily enough, discarded over the edge of said pile with a flick of his wrist. And as said cat is freed, it growls in a manner that's far less than happy.
But, Sephiroth's got hold of it. So, he clambers down the pile.]
You think you're going to leave the city? There's highrises, sure. But it's not the same. Right?
no subject
It’s quite a sight, Sephiroth standing there, holding… a cat. But there’s nothing for it.
Despite himself, he chuckles a little at the question, amused at how it’s equal parts ridiculous and practical.]
If you’re asking whether or not I plan on nesting in a tree any time soon, the answer is no.
[But the amusement fades back into his usual detachment. Sephiroth brushes past Cloud, walking down the way they came, though he pauses just long enough to let him retrieve his sword.]
There has to be a balance between who we are and what this planet is trying to make us become. If I have to change, I won’t allow one to completely overtake the other.
no subject
The cat in particular hates him. It's pretty obvious from how it hisses and how it bristles when he gets close, the fact it calms immediately after he withdraws from the block pile, and goes right into staring at Sephiroth in, what he thinks is its own part-fascination, part-fear. When it's finished wriggling, that is.
No skin off his nose. He didn't think much of the creature either. And Sephiroth's holding it, so he didn't have to. So he keeps his distance, collecting said sword, and putting it on his back.
...And he looks over when he hears Sephiroth's faint laugh. Not so long ago, he'd have been surprised to hear it. His memories had been full of it. Either... unrestrained in his insanity, desperate too- or just unfathomably cruel.
But now? It's neither of those things. It's amused, sure. Bright- beholding of a genuine amusement. But it's small. Ending just as soon as it began. A hand moves to the back of his neck as he then averts his gaze, focusing on following.
And responding.]
I don't know.
[A pause.]
We're from another one. [Another.] Look, I know you don't believe it, but... every planet's a living thing. Everyone born on a planet, is from that planet. Part of it. So... something from another...
[He tries to think of an example.
...Jenova.
No. Better not.]
Look, forget it. What you're saying could be possible. Probably be best to find the people that've been here the longest, right? If it's possible to find any kind of balance, you'll know by talking to 'em. Seeing how far gone they are.
no subject
Still, he’s listening instead to the point that Cloud is trying to make. The planet, alive — more talk that reminds him of Avalanche, but it’s hard for him to spin Shinra’s rebuttal on the subject these days. His heart isn’t much in it; it hasn’t been for a while.]
Then what would that make us? Unneeded organisms in this planet’s ecosystem? And yet it tries to make us a part of it, regardless. Subsuming something alien.
[It still sounds far-fetched to his ears, but he’s more open to the notion now than he ever was. Skepticism crumbles under the weight of literally being supplanted to a new world, where the rules are very different.]
Still. Asking others for information is advice you should take for yourself, too.
no subject
[If. It's... a notion that he's not 100% confident in. For their planet, to him, it's truth. An unshakable one. Bugenhagen had mentioned other planets were the same, too. But, from speaking to people from other worlds, they're either unaware of it, or... it's different.]
...I was told other planets're the same. But, the people from other planets here don't buy it either. Might be true, might not. Maybe it's more a case of what happens with reactors. Animals around 'em get changed by mako leaks, right? Maybe there's something here, that isn't on our world. Something changing us.
[But that's...
Well, who knew. But wait, there's the other theory. That this wasn't another planet. That it was some part of the lifestream, some delusion, and that they were all dead. Made sense. Given Aerith, Sephiroth, Nier. ...Maybe even him. The last thing he remembered could've killed him, just the same.
But it's not like he can tell Sephiroth about that, either. So.]
Maybe.
[He doesn't exactly sound that convincing. Normally, he'd leave it as that. End the conversation before it'd really begun, allow an uncomfortable silence to pervade the atmosphere. Probably make said atmosphere as awkward as hell too.
But.]
I don't do that well with stuff like that.
no subject
The last part, though. The bit latched on about how Cloud doesn’t do well with the idea of having changes impressed upon him, has Sephiroth questioning it.]
Your body changing?
[That’s obvious— anyone here would find issue with it. He does, as well. But he thinks that the other man might mean it in a different, more affecting way.]
Or the lack of agency it represents?
no subject
[He regrets saying anything now. Not about the theories. Regardless of whether they were right or not, they didn't change anything. They were changing. That was all that was important. Using terminology similar to what he knew as fact, only allowed for coping better. Didn't change a damn thing though. There's no revelation to be had.
Regardless of whatever was causing it, Sephiroth's statement that he'd seek out a balance, and force this balance unto himself was... well, normally, he'd not put that much stock in it. But it's him. Someone of whom possessed a will strong enough to overtake a Lifestream. Even Jenova, eventually. ...So he can see it. If anyone could, it'd be him.
But regardless.
What he had problems with, was talking to other people about his changes. Asking about theirs. Asking for help, even anonymously, on a network, just adding his questions to a pile of other people's. The network, in general, was something he ignored. And he was content to ignore it.
It was difficult enough to go into things with people he knew. He's not transparent. Not even with them. Case in point: this. He'd only alluded to his lack of capacity with Sephiroth because of the shared experiences retrieving an asshole cat, and honestly, their relationship broadening beyond what Sephiroth eventually became. That caused him to let his guard down.
But it's not enough to make him explain. Not when opening his mouth already seems like a mistake.]
..Where're we supposed to take this cat, again?
no subject
...The address on the note is nearby. A high rise a few blocks down from the posting. I remember because I thought that the building looked new.
[His reply is automatic. He’s still thinking.
Cloud, who travelled with others back on their planet. Cloud, who certainly has made friends on this one? Or does he assume too much? He realizes, then, that he does not really know him; that he rarely ever knows anyone deeply enough to really understand what makes them tick, even if he always has been able to assume through observation with relatively successful results.
Still, he’s spent ample enough of time around him — here and there. There are parts of his personality that are similar to his own, in a way. As though Cloud’s own reticence were a rougher version of Sephiroth’s aloof nature.
If that’s the case, he likely doesn’t want to linger on the subject. Probably wouldn’t do well with questions. But he has to clarify, for even Sephiroth finds it impractical to not rely on this world for workable information. On the people who might have answers where they do not.]
...It’ll be difficult to function on this planet through independence alone. It simply isn’t practical. Think of everyone else as representing... a resource, unused.
[And to avoid making himself sound like a hypocrite, an addendum—]
When I am admitting to something like that, you know you should take it into consideration.
no subject
[Shit. The listing was in his pocket now, wasn't it? So much for a subject change. He retrieves it, and reads it, offering a faint nod at Sephiroth's (pretty astute) comment about the building. The guy had a good head for direction. But honestly, that ...made sense.
But as for the rest?]
Yeah, like bonds.
[This thinking is flawed. Highly so. But to him, it makes sense. This world forced connection in a way theirs didn't. Nothing about what Sephiroth is saying is wrong- people needed people. He's aware. He'd been aware of it since he was a child- (even if thinking of himself back then is still enough, even now, to make him want to think about anything else) but the deviation in his thinking lies with assuming such could be obtained through bonds alone.
He did travel with others, on his world. But even then, it'd been for a purpose. For a point. For him, the realization that they were friends too, that they cared about each other, isn't quite formed yet. At least, not entirely. Not before an event in his future, where given the opportunity to leave, to spend what time they could with their loved ones, instead they came back.
If he asked himself about it, he'd know he felt that way, sure. Friendship. Something more than just banding together for a purpose and then returning to their respective lives. He did see them as friends. He did care, and he did cherish them. Problem is, the feeling's only worth a damn if they thought the same.
Plus, there's another problem. He takes things too far. He knows he does- and this feeling could've easily been exactly the same one that's plagued him for years- the one that had him look through a little girl's window, even if she barely knew him. The same one that made him follow her- the one that got her hurt.
It's a belief that something's wrong with him. That he takes everything too far. Confirmed by her father's blame. Embraced with the act of hurting her friends afterward.
But.]
...Right.
[Nothing else is said. Whether it's apparent the advice has sunk in or not isn't clear. But.]
If there's a way out, and we get back, are you going to look for that Genesis guy?
[For him, it's a while ago. A ... very long time ago. His memory's pretty foggy, but there's one thing he knows for certain.]
He was supposed to be killed the same time as Angeal. But there were sightings.
no subject
The question causes a silence to fill between them. Sephiroth continues walking at a steady pace, down the street, and they near the postings board where this all started. But finally-]
I already was. That had been one of the reasons why I accepted the assignment to Nibelheim. There had been rumors of activity linking him to the area.
[He supposes it’s only right that Cloud knows the underlying intent of the mission so unduly interrupted for him. To the other man, it had been years ago.]
If I were to return to that exact place and time, I would see it through to the end. What happens after that depends on the result.
[Perhaps more than Sephiroth realizes.]
...But I’ve been thinking that certain obligations with the company might be at an end.
no subject
...Right.
[Sephiroth, being bonded, might feel a faint amount of disappointment at that word. Because... yeah. Cloud does feel disappointed, somewhat. But if Sephiroth does feel anything, it's fleeting. Mostly because the source of this emotion knows, full well, that he doesn't have the luxury of them. Not any longer. He has to rein it in. ]
Makes sense.
[A few more steps, a turn around a corner, and:]
Almost there.
[Errant commentary. Solely intended to detract from the larger issue being discussed. A few more steps, another corner, one makeshift alleyway and:]
Shinra never were what they say in their publicity. But they've done things that're beyond terrible.
no subject
Insofar as he assumes, at least.
Down the alleyway they go. The cat in his arms wiggles, meows, wiggles a bit more, but Sephiroth's grip — while not painful — is tight and unerring.]
This doesn't surprise me as much as it should. Not any longer.
[Not after what happened to Genesis and Angeal, but if only Sephiroth actually knew how deeply Shinra's questionable, immoral business practices ran.]
But you're referring to more than just [apparently] draining the life out of the planet?
no subject
[Let's see. Five- no, seven years ago. That meant-]
In your time, the Corel reactor's being built. Probably early stages, right? The company just managed to convince the townspeople there to abandon their coal mines. Gonna take a few years to build it.
[He moves his gaze back to Sephiroth to ascertain that. It... should be right. It just about lines up. Maybe the company hadn't quite completed the negotiations. But they'd be close. ]
But they do it, same way they always do. The reactor's in the mountains, powers the town. Also, there's another reason for it.... I'll... get into that later. Anyway, something goes wrong, the thing blows.
[He's slowed to a stop now, because... honestly, this part's important. He... wants to see how Sephiroth reacts.]
They blamed the miners, and they killed 'em. Every one they could find, anyway. Then, they torched the town, with their families inside it.
...Years later, they built a theme park over it. What's left of the place is now some prison for people kicked out of the park. The point of time I'm from, the survivors moved to a new settlement, called North Corel. And it's worse than the slums.
[Slight pause.]
North Corel's not the only place. Fort Condor, by Junon's, going through something similar. Difference is, they got their loved ones out. ...Gongaga blew, too.
no subject
And it was easy to detach oneself from it, to not overthink the measures they would go to make the company look good, make it look corporate-clean and untouchable. A life entrenched in the army made that simple — follow orders from the top, knowing you were providing protection for those who could not manage it for themselves. Or that you were fighting back the potential onslaught of an enemy force, nipping a resistance in the bud before it could sprout its creeping vines across Midgar’s foundations.
But time passes and eats away at those certainties, just as it did with Sephiroth's. And that does that make him any better for keeping his loyalties entrenched, for a time, with Shinra? Because it was the purpose he was born for, raised for, told what to do and he did it well?
He is expressionless as they stop in front of a tall building, craning his gaze upwards to spot the floor they need to be on. A short climb, if anything. But Cloud will feel a discontent stirring in their bond, malignant and deep.]
Negligence is the least of Shinra’s crimes. You said they torched an entire town?
[He wonders if there’s any shred of honor to cling to, working for the company. Perhaps he’s already made his decision, knowing the answer to that.]
That’s unforgivable, and yet— Anything for the bottom line, anything to expand their influence. It’s easy to be blinded to all of that from the inside.
no subject
Yep. Not even that far into your future.
[His gaze moves with Sephiroth's, noting the elevation. Then he half-turns, back.]
There's something else, too. The company's never been what it says, right? Even someone like me worked that out pretty quick. But Shinra from the point I've come from're different. There's some SOLDIER around, sure. But it's Thirds at the Headquarters. Seconds, sometimes, for company objectives. But... I've been in their hair a few times, with AVALANCHE. I've never seen another First. But I've seen their mechs. Advanced Weaponry's pretty much the new SOLDIER. Thier machines don't question orders, and they don't run.
[Sephiroth... can probably link the mention of Fort Condor, Corel, and Gongaga by himself. So there's no need.]
...Also... [Does there need to be another one? No, but.] The space program isn't the only thing that got shitcanned. Urban Development's gone, too. Only thing Shinra care about nowadays is building another Midgar.
no subject
[He continues, and up, up, up the stairs they go, leading to the higher floors. Sephiroth keeps idle count of how many they’ve taken. It’s no Shinra building, at least.]
...Even in my time, SOLDIER had begun to bleed members. Maybe they’ve had enough of what Shinra represents, too, or maybe the toll it would take on their body had shaken their resolve.
[This is the floor, and the door they’re looking for is just down the way.]
Even after leaving, they’ll spend a life under quiet Shinra surveillance. But you know that. [Though Sephiroth is not certain they would get away with such a thing for him.] What you’re saying doesn’t surprise me, then; falling back on machines is less work for more immediate results. The kind that never question orders or have a shift in their moral compass.
Are you trying to sell me on leaving, Cloud? You should know it’s redundant at this point.
no subject
[Soon enough, they're at the right elevation. Regardless, Cloud lingers by the stairwell, just long enough to respond. It's redundant, yeah. He knows that as well as Sephiroth does, but he simply shrugs.]
Yeah, I get it. You're leaving anyway. It's still important you know what's going on, right? Probably save you some hassle if you thought about hiding out in either of those places.
[And.]
All yours. [Return of said escape artist cat, of course.] It's not like I'm the great hero.